In mid-September I was sitting in my room feeling desperately alone and lost. My ass had just been dumped and I was going through a perceived career crisis. I facetimed my Mom but couldn’t even make sentences. I could only cry.

It sucked and I thought things couldn’t get much worse.

But, it wasn’t the only time I had felt life take a quick 360 on me. Years back a faculty member who I considered a mentor, you know someone who is supposed to look out for you, made up lies about me to try to get me fired from my teaching job. I’m still not positive of the motive but this person subsequently took the next 3 years to try to undermine and sabotage me.

Thanks for that

Given distance from any similar incident, I’ve been lucky to be able to reframe these moments. At the time, I thought I was experiencing pain, but now it feels like a beautiful human moment of raw vulnerable emotionality.

In the grand scheme of things, I’ve had a fairly easy go.

A few days ago, I was in a pub having a couple beers with my friend Brittany talking about life. Britt is tougher than a two-dollar steak, comparatively I’m a marshmallow. We strung together the list of bad things that have happened to her in chronological order including her parents’ divorce, her sister being diagnosed with cancer (in remission now), her grandmother passing away, a couple of catastrophically douchey guys, and a recent break up.

The thing is, she is a stronger person than the girl I knew even a year ago. She is also still moving forward and actively looking to start a new career. There is a simple equation for what is going on here and it’s:

Struggles + Perseverance + Time = Growth

We joke about how over time the number of things that bother us has really dwindled. Bad stuff we can’t control does happen but we know what’s important and we know when to expend energy on what we actually care about.

I believe that anytime we deal with adversity and persevere through it we build strength. We just need time.

See the thing about time is that it’s a lot like toilet paper; if you use it the right way, it’s the best tool you have to deal with ‘shitty’ situations (yes, I’m 27).

When you encounter problems, using your time in a stagnant self-pitying state is just about as useful as rubbing your face with toilet paper, it doesn’t take care of the shit.

Struggles + Perseverance + Time = Growth

And when you’re persevering through those struggles, you still need to have fun and laugh too, cause , you know, poop is funny.

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